Okay, so I'm frustrated

I know I've been away. You wanna know why? I can't get Blogger to do what I tell it to anymore. Used to be that pics would load and I could see them when I was typing. I could move them around. Not anymore. Why?

And I've tried putting a video up to no avail. So if I have to fight with this thing it's really not worth it to me. So I'm asking you, because you know more than me, what the crap?

When I get frustrated with things I just give up after a while. Since I have two small kids, a cat that pees on everything, and a husband that I have to pick up after, my free time is very precious.

I'm going shoe shopping.

Lacey's first birthday and the pumpkin patch/butt crack

Lacey's birthday was on the 8th of October. I've been so bad about getting anything done around here lately so I'm posting late. So much has gone on in the last couple of months.

I can't believe my baby is one. And my other baby is three. Nothing like having kids to make you feel that time is passing you by.

So where else to have a party except Starbucks? It seemed like a good idea. I didn't want it to be big. I figured that grandparents would be it. But we had a couple of extras and it was a short and sweet party. Hell, Lacey has practically learned to walk at Starbucks, right?














And of course we had to go to Build a Bear for her first birthday.



And the Pumpkin Patch that same week. Of course we had rain, because why wouldn't there be rain? Not that I'm complaining. You know how much I love rain.



Jilly tried her hardest to pull that shovel out.



But finally gave up and picked a pumpkin. This was probably the 8th she picked.



And then we had to get one for Lacey.




And we ended the day at the Poodle Dog with an inappropriate show of behavior and french fries. Of course.

I'm a LOSER!

I know! It's terrible, right? I don't blog anymore, I don't read anymore, What the face, right? Dude, it's been one thing after another around here. I don't even know where to begin. So I'm going to start back on this with a simple post. It's dead into fall and I'm a happy camper about that. The leaves, the cool breeze, sweater season, the rain...it's all good. Sunny days make me cry, what can I say?

Both my daughters had birthdays. My youngest is now a year old and I haven't even posted about her. So that will be next. This is just a precursor to my personal commitment to blogging...again!

Yeah, yeah, whatever...

I know, I know, I've been out for the count. Can I help it if I get brain blocked at times?

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I have to admit I get slapped in the head by stress sometimes and it ain't pretty. In fact, it rears it's ugly head, generally, in the form of glorious cold sores. I don't get them often, and normally I can fend them off before they fester into a living war on my face, but not this time. Why? Because this time I was stressed. Really stressed.

End of summer comes along and preschool starts up. This is always a stressful time for me. What am I forgetting? What date is that meeting? Mom, can you babysit? Mom, can you babysit again? Mom, can you babysit, again? Birthday party, birthday party, POTTY TRAINING...not going well.

I have absolutely no patience for potty training.

And then my husband and I had a date. We needed it because, frankly, things are rough. He's on my nerves all the time, I'm bitching all the time, my three year old needs my attention all the time, my one year old needs my attention all the time. And I hate dinnertime. Hate it.

Three is the age that makes me nuts. Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. She knows what I'm saying, she has her own ideas about everything, she has to argue everything. It's neat. And for the most part, Jilly and I are good. Until Daddy comes home and throws a big fat wrench into our order by being indifferent to the rules and schedule that my daughters and I have so carefully put into place. The schedule that works for us and makes us happy.

So we had a date. To reconnect. And we did. It was a great night. We had dinner. We walked hand in hand. We went and saw "Wicked".

I am not a fan of plays. I don't like to sit for long periods, I can't hear what they're saying, I can't see much, it's not my thing. And at intermission I had no problem sharing my thoughts with my husband, who's idea this was in the first place. But I was singing the praises at the end of the show. The second half was much better and it was worth seeing. Even though my hip fell asleep and I had to get up in the middle to pee and ended up going outside by accident. It was good.

Until...

We were walking back the the car and I see this trail of glass peeking out from the underside of the car. I almost didn't want to look. I knew. We'd been broken into. Luckily I had everything on me that really mattered. So what did they take? The GPS. Oh yeah! Did I tell you that GPS is the thing cars are getting broken into for these days? You knew that? Well, I didn't. ( I'm not allowed to watch the news because it makes me cry.) Our cheap little GPS that didn't even work right half the time ended up costing us three hundred bucks for a window and tinting, because he decided we needed that. And I agree because I don't have to worry so much about UV that way.

They also got a wallet, but there was really only an H&M gift card with a hundred bucks on it and a couple of credit cards that have reached their limit. So except for feeling violated and screwing up a really good night, it wasn't all that bad.

But I really want that H&M card back, though.

Oh, did I mention the cat is pooping all over the house? Yeah, she'll be going to a new home soon. Grandma and Grandpa have agreed to take her. Hopefully that will make her happy and she'll get the love and affection I just can't give her right now. Because I'm over-freaking-whelmed by things right now. And I just want a clean house again.

What's that? Time to quit bitching? Okay. You got it.

Guys, step away from the thirteen dollar jeans!

Okay, guys, it's time we get on you about your choice in jeans. I mean seriously, it's almost as bad as the Mom Jean with you guys these days. Case in point. The Kirkland jean. Now come on, guys! You have got to at least own one mirror, right? If not, go out and buy one. Ikea is a good choice. Get a full length so you can check out your own butt like the rest of us do.

Now, I know you've heard the news. Tapering is out. In case you were uninformed, a tapered leg is one that TAPERS down to the ankle. Another case in point.

And if you're about to buy a jean that's the same color as your two month old nephew's onesie, put them back. Teach that store a lesson. Let the retailer know that you will not succumb to lazy jeanery. You are a MAN and you need to look GOOD. If for no other reason than to get your woman off your back. Bark for me!

The blue blue eighties color has go to go as well. If you're matchy matchy with cheap hotel paintings, it doesn't work.





Girls, please help your men. You and I both know how hard they don't try to get this right. I had to talk my wonderful husband down from the Kirkland thirteen dollar wall. Yes, it seems like a good deal. "It's just jeans!". No. It's not. I have to walk around with you in those jeans. I have to give people that look. You know the look. The, "I know, but he bought them without my consent!" look.


Much better


And even better still.

But there's always the possibility that you can go too far. Get sucked into the "trend". Don't do that. When you think you're ahead of the game and you're looking at these

Step away. Far away. Look at what these do to a perfectly good butt. Don't you see? The flattening? The elongating? It's not right, I'm telling you.

And even worse.

It's going to bust through at any moment. Don't make any sudden moves!

But this?

I need a moment.
Not in a good way.

So guys, when you're in the market for a new pair of jeans, just take a woman with you. And not your mom. Please. In fact, scratch that. Go alone. Find the hottest girl in the store you can find. And ask her to help you. We love to help. We just don't love it when you try to pick us up with a cheesy one liner. Make the commitment to yourself that you have the right to look good. You have the right to not be made fun of! Say it with me, "I am sexy! I am man! Women don't like me just as I am!"
You know it's true. We always have to fix something.

And then, when you're done repeating your solemn vows to never shop the thirteen dollar rack again, try these on.



And make Mama happy.



And we won't even get started on turtlenecks.

What I like about the Pacific Northwest Part 1

I gotta admit, I had a brain block the last few days. Didn't know what to write on. My life? Boring? Not with two kids. So today I'm walking you through a piece of our life.

Seattle. We lived there for a couple of months before moving to Tacoma where you can park your car in an actual driveway instead of having to circle the block four times and pray to the parallel parking gods that there may be something within a mile radius of your front door. Yeah, I'm a suburb girl at heart. I like easy.

Today we visited one of our favorite spots in Seattle. Green Lake Park. It's a 3 mile walk around with boating, play, all kinds of things we never partake in. Being that I'm from California and Vegas living up here is a lot different from the surface of the sun weather I was accustomed to in other places. I planned to move up SPECIFICALLY for the rain. And let me tell you a little secret. It doesn't rain as much as you think. Okay, so that's a secret we don't like to let out, but I can trust you guys, right?

Green Lake is one of the most beautiful places in Seattle as far as I'm concerned. I would love to include photos of the sunset when water shimmers like diamonds and the trees float around you, but it ain't happenin' right now. I'll work on that.
These are shot from my itty bitty camera because I didn't think to bring my good one. Oh well. It was about the exercise and family time anyway.






The four and five hundred thousand dollar houses we WISH we lived in. But didn't have to pay for.



Of course, Kitty needed to be walked. Kitty is such a Prima Donna.



"Yeah, you just keep pushing, Daddy."














Now I know for sure she's my daughter. Ice cream rules.



Red Mill. Where burgers want to be.



Passing out on the way home. Too bad naptime didn't last until we got there.



It was a beautiful day in Seattle and Tacoma. For me, it would have been better if it had rained, but then I'm weird that way. So they say.

So what do I like about the Pacific Northwest? It ain't Vegas, for one. The weather. The seasons. Fall is fall and not a cooler version of the surface of the sun summer. There are trees that aren't forced to grow. And on any given weekend this time of year there is at least one, if not several fair/festival/outside concert event. It's great. So don't move here. You'll overpopulate us and I'll have to yell at you on the freeway.

Writer's Workshop: Tell us about your crush

Dear Jeffrey Dean Morgan,

You know I've been coveting you for a long time, and I know how you feel about me (in my head). I feel like I really need to write this and get some things off my chest, so here goes.

First of all, I just can't continue to call you Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Even though it sounds good. it sounds right. I cannot seem to make any other name work. Jeff? No. Jeffrey? Uh uh. Jeffrey Dean? JDM? How about JD? What do you prefer? I mean, spelling out Jeffrey Dean Morgan every time I write to you and saying Jeffrey Dean Morgan every time we spend time together (in my head) takes up an enormous amount of time. I love you, but please. Help me out here.

We've been seeing a lot of each other lately (in my head) and I really enjoy my time with you (in my head). I'm finding myself becoming so attached to your (lack of) emails and (non-existent) phone calls that I can't seem to think about anything else.
But, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, I have a family. I love my husband! I hope you understand, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, that I will never leave my husband (except in my head) for you. I can't. It all means too much to me.

I remember the other night when we were talking (in my head) and you told me how much you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. You told me that you would clean all the dishes, pick up your socks, make all the beds, etc., etc. But it's only a tease. An unfair tease, for I can never have that precious time with you. You will always be the love of my life, JD. I know you think it's cute when I call you JD (in my head). But I love my family and I will not lose them for some fleeting affair with you.

Maybe we can just have this. The emails, the phone calls, years of longing and loving from afar (in my head). My husband did give me a free pass with you so I guess I'm in the clear there, but then you got attached (in my head) and I didn't mean to hurt you.

I hope we can always be friends, Jeffrey Dean Morgan. I really want you to be happy. I am very happy with my family and my life and even through this little indiscretion (I wish), I'm still where I want to be. I just hope you can honor my wishes and understand that I will never forget you. I will always have your photo plastered all over my desktop, Jeffrey Dean Morgan. It's the only thing I have left, after all. We will both move on. So please don't call me anymore. Unless you really really have to because you can't stand the thought of another day without the sound of my sexy morning voice. Please don't email me anymore. Unless you're sending me really hot photos of yourself. You know, for my scrapbook.




My love will always be with you,

Jenn

Check out Mama Kat for Writer's Workshop Thursdays. She always has great topics. This week I picked the "crush". You got that, right?